The power of words.

Ah, the power of words. In this day of information-overload, words can easily be taken for granted (and are in my humble opinion). As an example - and don't read into this, I'm not at all getting political - one single word, amnesty, turned, practically, the entire U.S. Senate around within the debate process regarding immigration. If you come up with the precise word, you can either make or break someones day.

In my life's experience, I've come to understand that words were a big part of my self-destruction. In my youth and early twenties, when I would attempt to do something, the 'tapes' would immediately start playing "you can't do this; you're going to screw this up; you can't do anything right...see, I told you; you're nothing but a failure"...etc.; tapes that my parents made for me when I was a boy and they were two (or ten) sheets to the wind. Little did they know those words would haunt me and shape my life forever.

Nowadays, I do all I can to use words carefully and delicately. Before I make a statement, I determine if what I'm about to say is in the positive or negative form: "I'm not sure if I'll be able to do this" (negative) vs. "I'm going to need to put energy into this to make this work" (positive). To some, it may not seem to make a difference. To me, it makes all the difference in the world. I have come to learn that I am completely responsible for everything that I say and I need to be clear with all that I do.

As a mentor, this philosophy is extremely important. I could easily repeat my parents practice of negativity and turn Leroy into a boy of low self-esteem and create for his youth, worlds of doubt. I choose to be conscious.

In addition to being aware of what I say, I also find it my responsibility to teach him about proper use of the power of words. Case in point, we were at a golf event the other week and came upon the putting green - a place of frustration for many. He, along with other children, were being coached in the basics of pendulum swings and grace. Of course it was difficult for him at first. I expected him, knowing his competitive side and thirst for excellence, to focus and progressively improve. He didn't. I wondered. I listened. And there it was. He kept saying "I can't do this"; "I won't be able to get this"...sound familiar?

It was then when I decided to start the "lesson of the day". Whenever he would putt and miss, rather than saying "I can't" and "I won't" - I asked him to say "I can" and "I will". At first, he fought back; "I can't" and I would chime in, "You can". Then he would miss again and say "I won't" and again I would chime in "You will"... Eventually, he started saying "can" and "will" - maybe even simply to appease me.

Well, I'll tell you what, no more than 5 minutes after the practice of positive speaking, he made one...then another...then another - all he could do was smile.

"Whether you think you can or whether you think you can't, you're right." ~ Henry Ford

- gt