Sense of sadness...

What's my reality? Hmm. I guess that depends on how you look at it. If you choose to see my reality as a man who has a good job, a beautiful home, a nice car, a great wife, good friends and good health, then theoretically, I'm doing alright.

Let me take you deeper inside for a moment. Walking towards the density and darkness, you'll start to feel a great sense of sadness - a heaviness that doesn't seem to fit the external reality. There's something else present. The only way to describe it is that it's a universal sadness - a realization that the world is missing some pieces...more over, the people in the world are missing something - but what?

I spoke to my brother the other day and we began the conversation talking about summer projects, vacations, and life in general. The thin quickly got thicker when he brought up the difficulty he's having with his son, my nephew. How he's making decisions that lead down an extremely rough and dangerous road (I know, I've been there). How the sense of consequence appears to be invisible. Now, I know my brother. He's a great father and a great man. He's been down a very similar road of healing and self growth as I. We have conversations that allow us to heal a piece of ourselves practically every time we meet. I know he's doing all he can for his boy. And still...

Soon after the conversation, I realize the soup pot is stirring...my soup pot. A have a few choices here. I can blame him for being a bad father - expect him to raise his boy on his own and whatever happens is completely his fault. I can blame my nephew for being a bad kid - "hey, they're your decisions, live with them"...how else is he going to learn. I can ignore the whole thing and pretend it doesn't exist - "Now, where was I with my landscaping.". I can fall into my wound of sadness and fear that I project onto my nephew - that I was never loved, no one cares about me, and I'm all alone. OR, I can turn the mirror on myself, own all of the judgments I have, step through them and walk into my leadership - as a man.

My vision and my actions create my reality. I choose to step up. I choose to do my part. I choose to be part of the village that is necessary to raise a child. I choose to mentor this boy. I choose to support this boy. I choose to love this boy. I will provide that to him. I will call him and talk to him at least once a week (yes, it's that easy). I choose to let his father know he's not alone. I choose to let his father know it's not his fault. I choose to love his father. I will provide that to him.

I judge and know that men in the world are faced with similar challenges. I judge and know that men choose to blame; men choose to pretend it doesn't exists; men get lost in their wounds. The sadness that remains is for these men - for the result of their lack of action. I challenge you to step up. Do what is necessary to change the world...you are the man you've been looking for!

- gt