Choices.

Somewhere along the line, I lost the fact that life is about choice. I remember growing up in suburbia living behind the madness of my alcoholic and abusive parents and never wanting anyone to know the truth of what was going on inside the walls of our house. You see, as a boy I made a choice to not let anyone in; to stay hidden in my world of blame and self destruction. It's not difficult to surmise how my life continued, only to say that I gave up my power of choice. I accompanied myself with people who were blamers, accusers, and judgers - never taking accountability for their own life and afraid to make any changes.

It wasn't until I was in my twenties, beaten down and practically self-destroyed, that I came to realize that there was choice - there was another way. (I would be aloof if I don't make a note of my family and friends who helped me find the path - THANK YOU!)

The other day, leroy stopped by with one of his friends just to say hey. That was cool. The fact that he found a solace in me that gave him the freedom to just show up. We were talking about whatever, throwing snowballs at each other, when his friend said to me "how can i get a big brother?"

There's so much in that statement that makes me want to smile. One of the things I thought about was how this boy, behind his tough and rugged exterior, found his bravery and shared his vunerability with both of us. He talked about his difficulty in school. He talked about wanting to stand up for the weaker kids and still try to be a tough guy. He talked about his confusion and frustration.

As soon as I heard him start to blame other people for what was going on in his life, I stopped him. I reminded him that he's the one who makes the decision. He's the one who's responsible for his actions. He's the one who is going to be held accountable. No matter who he blames, no matter where his finger points, he is to always hold up the mirror and take a look at himself and ask "what are my choices?"

"If you know what you're worth, then go out and get what you're worth. But you gotta be willing to take the hit, and not pointing fingers saying you ain't where you are because of him, or her, or anybody. Cowards do that and that ain't you." ...(Rocky Balboa)

- gt